i'm lost....

如果要我舍弃我现在所拥有的朋友

小学朋友

中学朋友

大学朋友

也许这一别，日后不再见

如果要我舍弃我现在所拥有的课程

读了将近两年的电子学

即将作废

连文凭也拿不到

如果要我舍弃我将来许多欢乐

可能再也没有机会跟朋友喝茶

可能再也没有机会跟朋友看电影

可能再也没有机会跟朋友家过夜

可能再也没有机会跟朋友做 event

可能再也没有机会跟朋友出 trip

可能再也没有机会......

我不知道这样到底值不值得

不知道

不知道

不知道

如果真的有那么样的一天

那当时的我会是什么样的心酸心情?

生活 的 快乐呢?

只...为了求学吗?

the last month of every semester...

最近真的忙得我很反胃 = =

真的真的

在每个学期的最后一个月

都是我最忙的时期 = =

开始赶 assignment 啦

开始拼了命去读书

开始不要命地熬夜

一个真的很反常的月份

头脑里有 idea 想要写些什么

却没有什么时间去打打字

根本就...不敢想太多 = =

总儿言之

我真的很缺乏睡眠 = ="

twelve..

十二岁的我
不爱跟别人说话
一回到家
就继续玩我的电脑
看我的漫画
如此地跟世界隔离

除了玩卡之外
我没有什么其他的兴趣
除了篮球之外
我没有什么其他的运动

当年的我
到底怎么度过寂寞？

犹记得
我有一张很喜欢的专辑
叫＂情深深 雨蒙蒙＂
我有一首很喜欢的歌
叫＂有没有那么一首歌会让你想起我＂
我有一个很喜欢的团体
叫＂S.H.E＂
我有一个…

反复听回这些旧歌
会唤醒我当年的记忆
提醒我…
当年在音响旁睡觉的日子
每天早上都差点迟到的日子
每天一个人跑去 Carrefour 租漫画的日子
还有…

想起这些往事
会觉得自己那时很幸福
虽然…也会寂寞
我已忘了当年的我
是否觉得自己很满足
还是在…抱怨生活的无奈…
有些事
忘了就是忘了
再也记不起
当年的想法

只是…一路以来的生活
都让我很厌倦
让我很向往自己出来社会
自己做工养自己的生活
又或者
回到四岁的我
那段生活

song in dream..

我在梦里听见一首歌
一首是曾相似
却从未听过的一首歌
唱得 如此凄凉
却很有意思
盘旋在我耳边 我脑里
散不去

我喜欢这首歌
却哼不出旋律

我记不起歌词
我记不起旋律
仍有印象的
只剩下感觉

disappointed

just disappointed, on someone
they just looks offensive
although they are at the right side
am I just too sensitive?
or they mean so?
wth am I thinking?
I should really rest well, seriously

feel like going to fever soon ==
wth lol

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

not in mood, now...

not in mood... so called no mood...

for unknown reason =)

woke up in 9.50am in the morning

but sleep again right after i silence the alarm = ="

its been times i'm doing this

it doesn't feel good but i'm just... repeating

then, wake again on 2.30pm

then, lunch on 3.20pm

its quite unhealthy life style

even myself dislike it quite a lot but i'm just... repeating

then, class, then, moody,

for unknown reason. =)

maybe i start to miss my home,

its been 2 weeks i'm far away from home.

maybe i start to miss my friend,

its been a month i didn't meet any of them.

or maybe,

i'm just to tired to keep myself busy.

or maybe,

it has no reason.

joining friends for camp is happy,

knowing new friends is happy,

have fun with friends is happy,

but i'm tired of being happy,

maybe i just need some rest.

sometimes even i have no mood to do anything,

being moody and wish to stay alone,

on the way back to my room,

to rest.

but then someone coming towards me,

i smile again.

i have to smile again.

no matter its true smile or a fake smile,

i'm just... tired of it.

sometimes,

i just want to rest my tired face,

not to smile for a day,

sometimes,

i wish so.

mood.

生活 很烂
心情 很好
行程 很烂
心情 很好
上课 很烂
但心情 很好 =)

持续维持着 好心情
尽量 能多久就维持多久
因为真的很 miss 这种感觉
好久好久了 XD

our very first

i need to improve, at the first place.

we need to improve, too.

its my first time observing every activity so carefully

keep find the problem and try to solve it.

end up, still failed, for me.

i have been rushing here and there so busy for days and nights

i don't have time for my personal stuff, except facebook sometimes.

end up, still failed, for me.

i have predict it to failed since i heard nothing from certain department,

i remind them, times and times until i forget,

but they still, though they have already done with their stuff.

end up, still failed, for me.

seriously, i'm damn disappointed with everything happen in front of my eyes.

until the moral dances, which i have predicted it to be the only success one, in previous blogpost.

i'm... moodless

anyhow, its past.

at least, i can smile right now.

at least, i have got more free time since its end.

at least, i don't have to worry anymore.

will start doing with the membership director part.

i need someone i trust

im doing it all myself =)

whenever i dun trust him/her

i wouldn't pass the job to him/her unless i have no choice =)

i seriously need someone who i trust to help me

instead of someone being extra luggage, to me

doing it all myself also not bad

next time i do for other event sure very strong XD

seriously, i failed as an OC =)

although i work hard, but my memory does have problem

always forget to give jobs to VOC = ="

caused her to be the "almost 0-contributer" = ="

feel so guilty to her whenever i recall back of this.

im sorry =(

anyhow, since forecast says there will be no raining on the night

so let's have fun =) its gonna be fun !!

except no surprising program & lack of performances

anyhow, the moral dances & foods will satisfy my dearest participants, most probably XD

yay! no more works after tomorrow night =)

although i have test on tuesday 10am XD

everytime i think of you...i feel upset...

yes u did affect my mood, whenever i was thinking of u...

看见 mountain dew,

想起了你,有点感伤,

为何想见你一面

也那么困难...

我们三番四次去预约时间

却没一次成功

我们三番四次去找机会探望

却都没有机会

连我妈都说

“怎么现在想探望孤儿院也这么困难？”

时代变了？

我不知道

我只知道

我孩子的这间孤儿院

好像还蛮多人 sponsor 和 带他们出去走走的

他们很多周末都有 activity 等着他们

我也不知道

到底这样对他们好不好

但无论如何

我也无权干涉

我只是想见见你

看看你最近如何

而每次想到这里

心里就有点感伤

the talk.disappointedly.crashing.reason behind complain...

we talked a lot,
we are dying,
i am trying.

there are lots of things i should hav did it but its not been done yet,
its our fault, i knew.
i just don't know do i really tried.....my best?
sometimes im still playing, still facebooking instead of doing serious stuff,
im actually quite disappointed on myself, & someone.
seriously, after im done with my busy gathering night.
seriously, actions should be taken, asap...

yet, not only participate in leo club's event,
but do covered hoc, stact club, adventure club events as well.
since all of them will be on nex week & some clashed,
im headaching which event i should help out = ="......

complain doesn't help, but i do really hav to destress in term of typing,
instead of telling someone or do anything else.
its my way, to destress.
ppl read my complain, some support, some may think of others, but most giv no response.
i just realize it can be in so many ways out.
anyhow, its not my problem, im just telling out my story,
how u feel is none of my business, indeed.
let me, continue my story,
its a journal, my journal.
it may be a common article for readers,
but it does mean a lot to writer.

i don't know.........

我不知道

我不知道你们这样算什么?

为何我好像做到自己很卑微的模样

为何你可以一个理由就把我摊开

为何我还要一直迁就着你?

我开始怀疑

到底是我无能 还是你无耻

我开始怀疑到底还应不应该靠你做事?

还是我自己来会比较快?

天时差，地利差，人不和

对啊对啊

挂了名是个 team

实际上就是什么都不合作

直接把责任都留给我

有什么事反正又不是你们背

对啊对啊

聪明到你啦

；

闷啊

赶快过去就算了 = =

不想理酱多了

event 过后

有多远 就离你多远就对了

new alarm =DD

韦礼安的歌..

YES = =" 好听到爆 XD

6 / 10 首歌是我喜欢的

然后 今天找到了一个很爽的 Software XDXDXD

iTunes Alarm XDXDXD

就是我 set 了时间

然后 iTunes 会在那个时间开始播歌

然后我就会被吵醒了 XDXD

不过

今天下午我就是酱子

被吵醒了

还在床上听歌听了半个小时才起身 = ="

希望这个 Alarm 下次可以叫到我起床吧 = ="

XD 很爽下

o shit...

ou baby = ="

今天早上真的让我 down 到谷底 = ="

那些整天不会做功课

然后考试偷看的 noob 尽然可以拿 72 分 = ="

超吊的

而且不止偷看左边

还顺便看埋右边的 = =

然后 被偷看的只拿 64 分

shit u = =" wat the HELL is that = ="

= =" usually 只要是我的 idea..

如果我有我的 idea

如果我知道我要做什么的话

就一定做得出来

但这一次

我给我的 lecturer 阴到够够力

专出那些很 basic 的

basic 到我都不会去读的那些

然后我直接拿了 43 分回家 = ="

真的是....................moodless 到没有 mood = ="

想起我 90 多 100 分的 Exercise 和 Assignment

我真的不知道做么这次会死到酱够力

然后就酱子 moodless 了整个早上下午...

= =" 最讨厌就是这样的啦

然后加埋 lecturer 最喜欢讲的那些话

“你们平时 tutorial exercise 都拿酱高分然后考试时拿酱低分，

就知道你们平时是怎么抄回来的啦！？”

..................................算了 = =

没有 mood 了= =

然后就这样

坐在食堂 10 分钟

要吃什么也没有 mood...

最后才去 cincai 吃东西

den 走去图书馆借下明天要考试的科目的书

然后回房间睡觉 = =

还是自己一个人的时间最爽 = =

直接把电话 off 了

隔绝这个世界...