生命的尽头
是否就是
当你的生活
一成不变的时候
【九把刀】
December 31, 2011
December 18, 2011
December 15, 2011
December 11, 2011
August 22, 2011
change.
its all hidden now,
not public anymore,
not a free content anymore.
tired with human's heart,
and the realistic's environment.
am quite depressed at the moment,
after recall back the worse moment i have faced in the past year.
deeply disappointed on the term i joined,
deeply disappointed on the person who joined,
making it sucks.
its just a sucks memory,
makes me grow.
not public anymore,
not a free content anymore.
tired with human's heart,
and the realistic's environment.
am quite depressed at the moment,
after recall back the worse moment i have faced in the past year.
deeply disappointed on the term i joined,
deeply disappointed on the person who joined,
making it sucks.
its just a sucks memory,
makes me grow.
August 15, 2011
queenism.
the biggest mistake i made, is knowing you at the beginning.
you created a chaos within our gang and you thought you were right.
...
if we were not forced to know each other,
my life would be much peaceful.
you came into my life,
created problems for me,
insulting me,
scold me in front and behind of me,
saying i am the bad one,
claims that you are the right.
of course, everyone claims that he/she was right,
but they seldom understand the truth,
posibly, forever.
anyhow, i learned a lot from you two,
whenever you created problems for me,
i bear it up and overcome it,
learned to control myself,
learned the some ability,
know more about how childish or ridiculous a person can be,
learned how to co-operate with a ridiculous person,
who always thought she was the queen,
everything were under her control perfectly.
thought is just a thought,
you thought you were success,
but you don't actually know how many people are looking down at you at the moment,
such many negative descriptions goes into my ears,
while she is celebrating for her success.
guess you would continue rule the world and create chaos everywhere you been,
till the day you gone.
July 30, 2011
July 20, 2011
July 15, 2011
monthly report.
its months i did not blog,
as usual, i would not be here until i were down.
----------------------------------
i feel...lost.
my further study plan was not as smooth as i predict
too much of unexpected happen
causing of skipping the interview,
although i would definitely go for second round.
causing i were lost,
after the counselor told me something which i do not know previously.
my future is still an unknown,
don't know where to go,
what to do.
i have been so afraid with the term, "unknown".
its the scariest part for me, which my life is unpredictable at the moment.
i don't know what will change and what would not.
same goes to what i will lost and what would not.
just anyhow,
it isn't smooth at the moment, as i tried hard.
fuuhhh.
missed up the interview,
i would never know its good or bad.
i feel like stay back at the same place,
just like when i was facing high school graduation.
maybe i would be free to discover myself for a better platform,
instead of staying in the same ground.
its also an "unknown",
but i like this kind of unknown,
it makes me feel challenging as the future is decide by me myself.
maybe,
its time for me to rest,
although i feel like fighting more.
maybe,
its a chance for me,
to discover a new world.
maybe,
perhaps,
everything happened would be positive.
----------------------------------
i hate something who has no manners,
talk to me politely before i treat you as a rubbish.
rubbish has nothing to be treasure of.
i do not keep rubbish in my mind,
and that's why you will see me filtering my friend list always,
because i would prefer to give up something,
which it caused full of negative thought in my mind,
keeping them would waste my mood.
filtering is something necessary for me,
you may judge me,
but i have my point,
i am living for myself,
not for someone else.
----------------------------------
done with famine,
done with my dream,
its tired but it worth,
i really do gain something precious from it,
which made me grow.
appreciate the people who promoted me,
else i will still stand on the same spot,
thinking of when i could done with my dream.
you would never know how potential you are,
unless you tried.
----------------------------------
uhhhhh
its time.
nor matter what will happen,
or how much "unknown" will still happen,
its time to pack up myself,
to challenge the "unknown",
and made it a controllable element.
ROAR!
spirit's up!
new target is set!
time to begin for a new journey!
as usual, i would not be here until i were down.
----------------------------------
i feel...lost.
my further study plan was not as smooth as i predict
too much of unexpected happen
causing of skipping the interview,
although i would definitely go for second round.
causing i were lost,
after the counselor told me something which i do not know previously.
my future is still an unknown,
don't know where to go,
what to do.
i have been so afraid with the term, "unknown".
its the scariest part for me, which my life is unpredictable at the moment.
i don't know what will change and what would not.
same goes to what i will lost and what would not.
just anyhow,
it isn't smooth at the moment, as i tried hard.
fuuhhh.
missed up the interview,
i would never know its good or bad.
i feel like stay back at the same place,
just like when i was facing high school graduation.
maybe i would be free to discover myself for a better platform,
instead of staying in the same ground.
its also an "unknown",
but i like this kind of unknown,
it makes me feel challenging as the future is decide by me myself.
maybe,
its time for me to rest,
although i feel like fighting more.
maybe,
its a chance for me,
to discover a new world.
maybe,
perhaps,
everything happened would be positive.
----------------------------------
i hate something who has no manners,
talk to me politely before i treat you as a rubbish.
rubbish has nothing to be treasure of.
i do not keep rubbish in my mind,
and that's why you will see me filtering my friend list always,
because i would prefer to give up something,
which it caused full of negative thought in my mind,
keeping them would waste my mood.
filtering is something necessary for me,
you may judge me,
but i have my point,
i am living for myself,
not for someone else.
----------------------------------
done with famine,
done with my dream,
its tired but it worth,
i really do gain something precious from it,
which made me grow.
appreciate the people who promoted me,
else i will still stand on the same spot,
thinking of when i could done with my dream.
you would never know how potential you are,
unless you tried.
----------------------------------
uhhhhh
its time.
nor matter what will happen,
or how much "unknown" will still happen,
its time to pack up myself,
to challenge the "unknown",
and made it a controllable element.
ROAR!
spirit's up!
new target is set!
time to begin for a new journey!
May 07, 2011
the facebook note, shit.
时常看到哪些 facebook 的文章
都在讲说...
“长大了,应该少说话,
保持沉默,自己面对寂寞,
累了就自己躲起来哭泣,
或...”
...类似的大便。
我真的觉得
这些都是大便!!
是谁告诉你长大就应该要学会面对寂寞?
难道就不可以找朋友玩找朋友疯么?
是谁告诉你,不开心又或是怎样了,
就真的应该自己面对着墙壁自己哭泣吗?
而又是谁告诉你沉默就代表成长?
沉默,只会让人与人之间的距离不断扩大,
无形中增添更多的沉默而已。
你真的觉得这样做,
就会成长或成熟吗?
大便!
这些凄凄惨惨的话,想必是哪个宅男在人生潦草时,
随便下笔写下的感言吧。
人生有很多选择,你的生活由你决定,
是你的态度,决定你的心情。
这些文章,
有时真的读读就算了,
别真的把这些内容烙印在你的脑里,
把别人的思想深深融入自己的心里。
每个人都是独特的,
你不需要根据某某人的言语,
来跟着他的生活方式活着,
你就是你,
我之所以会跟你做朋友,
就是因为你是 unique 的。
如果,
我所有的朋友都思想一致了,
那...我还要你们来干嘛?
做人,
总是要个性点,
才活得精彩。
都在讲说...
“长大了,应该少说话,
保持沉默,自己面对寂寞,
累了就自己躲起来哭泣,
或...”
...类似的大便。
我真的觉得
这些都是大便!!
是谁告诉你长大就应该要学会面对寂寞?
难道就不可以找朋友玩找朋友疯么?
是谁告诉你,不开心又或是怎样了,
就真的应该自己面对着墙壁自己哭泣吗?
而又是谁告诉你沉默就代表成长?
沉默,只会让人与人之间的距离不断扩大,
无形中增添更多的沉默而已。
你真的觉得这样做,
就会成长或成熟吗?
大便!
这些凄凄惨惨的话,想必是哪个宅男在人生潦草时,
随便下笔写下的感言吧。
人生有很多选择,你的生活由你决定,
是你的态度,决定你的心情。
这些文章,
有时真的读读就算了,
别真的把这些内容烙印在你的脑里,
把别人的思想深深融入自己的心里。
每个人都是独特的,
你不需要根据某某人的言语,
来跟着他的生活方式活着,
你就是你,
我之所以会跟你做朋友,
就是因为你是 unique 的。
如果,
我所有的朋友都思想一致了,
那...我还要你们来干嘛?
做人,
总是要个性点,
才活得精彩。
April 28, 2011
an incident.
若是如此
从此以后
那就算了吧
既然你不想
我也不逼你
总感觉
朋友做到这样
也很牵强
...
虽然只是很简单的小事
但偏偏这些不起眼的小事
却是事故发生的
起因
fine.
从此以后
那就算了吧
既然你不想
我也不逼你
总感觉
朋友做到这样
也很牵强
...
虽然只是很简单的小事
但偏偏这些不起眼的小事
却是事故发生的
起因
fine.
April 20, 2011
April 17, 2011
helping hand.
我总是很亲切地想帮助每个人
却
不是每个人都喜欢我
所以我的帮助也未必被接受
或被遗忘
...
...
无论如何
我还是很坚持地想帮助每个人
只是我更希望
我能真真切切帮助到每个你
*话说...有时还真的是心有余而力不足
却
不是每个人都喜欢我
所以我的帮助也未必被接受
或被遗忘
...
...
无论如何
我还是很坚持地想帮助每个人
只是我更希望
我能真真切切帮助到每个你
*话说...有时还真的是心有余而力不足
April 13, 2011
April 12, 2011
a phone call.
my mom just called me,
and there goes my tear drops,
the reason is so complicated.
...
but to clarify,
my mom is not blaming me,
and i don't feel blamed.
"your cousin are going back to japan on thursday, are you coming back these few days?"
"eh....but recently i am busy lar...can't go back."
"you everyday also busy de lar..."
and there goes my tear drops,
the reason is so complicated.
...
but to clarify,
my mom is not blaming me,
and i don't feel blamed.
April 09, 2011
2011.
破纪录了~
一个礼拜里连续七天都有不开心的事情
每天都有不一样的事情
来帮我制造烦恼
今年犯太岁
真的是挑战连连
如果没记错或没忘掉的话
我今年应该是最多烦恼的一年
所以这几个月真的 sad 到很够力夸张
sad 到我自己都吓了一大跳
sad 到我自己都被自己讨厌了
很 sad 的阶段不知几时会结束
我一直都很害怕我每天这样 sad 下去
会渐渐吓跑我周遭的朋友
而我的形象好像渐渐树立了
“neh~ 那个人咯~ 整天很 emo 的啊~”
= ="
我只想澄清一下
从前从前
我不是这样的人
如果
我没有 emo 的话
我相信
你会被我的笑容感染
又或者
我希望
=)
一个礼拜里连续七天都有不开心的事情
每天都有不一样的事情
来帮我制造烦恼
今年犯太岁
真的是挑战连连
如果没记错或没忘掉的话
我今年应该是最多烦恼的一年
所以这几个月真的 sad 到很够力夸张
sad 到我自己都吓了一大跳
sad 到我自己都被自己讨厌了
很 sad 的阶段不知几时会结束
我一直都很害怕我每天这样 sad 下去
会渐渐吓跑我周遭的朋友
而我的形象好像渐渐树立了
“neh~ 那个人咯~ 整天很 emo 的啊~”
= ="
我只想澄清一下
从前从前
我不是这样的人
如果
我没有 emo 的话
我相信
你会被我的笑容感染
又或者
我希望
=)
April 07, 2011
bankrupt.
最近我真的很穷
心灵上,荷包里
都穷得很卑微
什么钱都舍不得花
真的觉得
很...卑微...
但无论如何
即使我再穷
再想要钱
我都不要跟父母讨
即使父母说要给我
我有时也会拒绝掉
因为我从不想
为他们增加一点点的负担
从小到大
我都不敢要求太多
看到 Baskin Robin 的 ice cream 好像很好吃
但看到价钱之后我就会自动走掉
妈妈老是说:“你这样什么都不要不要,就什么都没有 try 到咯?这样只是你自己吃亏而已。”
...
很对
但是
我就是花不下这些钱... = ="
所以下次嫁给我的老婆应该很有开心吧?
我不知道这叫不叫骨气
穷到很惨了
也不要跟妈妈讨
如果算是的话
至少我还能安慰一下自己
“男人可以穷,
但是不能没有骨气!”
穷,也要穷的很男人。=)
心灵上,荷包里
都穷得很卑微
什么钱都舍不得花
真的觉得
很...卑微...
但无论如何
即使我再穷
再想要钱
我都不要跟父母讨
即使父母说要给我
我有时也会拒绝掉
因为我从不想
为他们增加一点点的负担
从小到大
我都不敢要求太多
看到 Baskin Robin 的 ice cream 好像很好吃
但看到价钱之后我就会自动走掉
妈妈老是说:“你这样什么都不要不要,就什么都没有 try 到咯?这样只是你自己吃亏而已。”
...
很对
但是
我就是花不下这些钱... = ="
所以下次嫁给我的老婆应该很有开心吧?
我不知道这叫不叫骨气
穷到很惨了
也不要跟妈妈讨
如果算是的话
至少我还能安慰一下自己
“男人可以穷,
但是不能没有骨气!”
穷,也要穷的很男人。=)
April 06, 2011
April 04, 2011
not being alone.
我的房里似乎有种忧闷的音波
每次待在房间里
总是会闷闷不乐
房间里总是很热很闷
所以脸上的表情怎看都不像是笑脸
眉毛总是愁的
所以心里也没有很好过
心灵总是很寂寞
不甘一个人做事
不甘一个人走路
不甘一个人而已
...
我真的...太需要人陪
我想象不到
在无人陪的陌生世界里
我是多么的无奈
多么的无助
每次待在房间里
总是会闷闷不乐
房间里总是很热很闷
所以脸上的表情怎看都不像是笑脸
眉毛总是愁的
所以心里也没有很好过
心灵总是很寂寞
不甘一个人做事
不甘一个人走路
不甘一个人而已
...
我真的...太需要人陪
我想象不到
在无人陪的陌生世界里
我是多么的无奈
多么的无助
March 29, 2011
be yourself.
开心的时候 就要笑
伤心的时候 就要哭
生气的时候 就要说出来
我忍受不了 周遭的人都在隐藏着自己
有什么事 都憋得扭扭捏捏
好幸苦
我还是比较喜欢直接一点,
做回我自己。
这样
能让我比较安慰一点
至少
我不会讨厌自己的懦弱
伤心的时候 就要哭
生气的时候 就要说出来
我忍受不了 周遭的人都在隐藏着自己
有什么事 都憋得扭扭捏捏
好幸苦
我还是比较喜欢直接一点,
做回我自己。
这样
能让我比较安慰一点
至少
我不会讨厌自己的懦弱
its not a good month.
突然有种很心酸的感觉
这几个月
我忙透了
我没有时间
每次朋友找我
我都是同一句
“eh sry lar...kind of busy now >.< chat next time k? =)”
殊不知
每个笑脸
都是硬挤出来的
根本
就是苦笑
只是键盘的键有限
打不出我要的笑脸
所以
大家都以为我心情不错
透过另一端的电脑荧幕
你会看见
这里的眼睛里有点湿
刚才
突然开了朋友的部落格
才猛然发现
里头有好多好多 update
我都不懂
他最近谈恋爱了
这是我最近期知道的一件事
虽然这所谓的“近期”
是一个月前的事
我们
...
好久
......
没聊天了
.........
你还好吗?
如果
我们一起相处过的时间
不止一年
该多好?
you are more than just a friend to me,
you are a soul,
a soulmate,
of mine.
;
不止是他而已,
还有你们。
很久
没有喝茶了噢
很怀念我们大家
都还在一起的时候
而现在大家都被隔离在不同的地方
很纳闷
很无奈
成长就是这样
离开自己熟悉的环境
放下所谓的思念
独自打拼
即使很累
也无法抱怨
只能期望
日后大家毕了业
都住在附近
就很满足了
;
不止他们,
你们也是。
很害怕
毕了业
就再也见不到你们
这几个。
...
怎办?
这几个月
我忙透了
我没有时间
每次朋友找我
我都是同一句
“eh sry lar...kind of busy now >.< chat next time k? =)”
殊不知
每个笑脸
都是硬挤出来的
根本
就是苦笑
只是键盘的键有限
打不出我要的笑脸
所以
大家都以为我心情不错
透过另一端的电脑荧幕
你会看见
这里的眼睛里有点湿
刚才
突然开了朋友的部落格
才猛然发现
里头有好多好多 update
我都不懂
他最近谈恋爱了
这是我最近期知道的一件事
虽然这所谓的“近期”
是一个月前的事
我们
...
好久
......
没聊天了
.........
你还好吗?
如果
我们一起相处过的时间
不止一年
该多好?
you are more than just a friend to me,
you are a soul,
a soulmate,
of mine.
;
不止是他而已,
还有你们。
很久
没有喝茶了噢
很怀念我们大家
都还在一起的时候
而现在大家都被隔离在不同的地方
很纳闷
很无奈
成长就是这样
离开自己熟悉的环境
放下所谓的思念
独自打拼
即使很累
也无法抱怨
只能期望
日后大家毕了业
都住在附近
就很满足了
;
不止他们,
你们也是。
很害怕
毕了业
就再也见不到你们
这几个。
...
怎办?
straight forward.
很讨厌这样一个现实的人
总不会迁就别人
总要人迁就
还要大声小声地叫
很很很不喜欢
如果你是这样子的人
就认了吧
能改就改
改不掉就算了
反正我们只是刚好熟悉彼此而已
你若读了不喜欢我也罢了
反正
我也不是第一个这样 comment 的人了
只是我
比别人更敢怒敢言而已
因为我不喜欢萎缩得像刺猬
总是活在悲哀里
总不会迁就别人
总要人迁就
还要大声小声地叫
很很很不喜欢
如果你是这样子的人
就认了吧
能改就改
改不掉就算了
反正我们只是刚好熟悉彼此而已
你若读了不喜欢我也罢了
反正
我也不是第一个这样 comment 的人了
只是我
比别人更敢怒敢言而已
因为我不喜欢萎缩得像刺猬
总是活在悲哀里
March 28, 2011
March 17, 2011
the end.
连续两天都熬到清晨 7、8 点
很累了
回想起两天前的这个时候
我正在拼了命地把 master list 逼出来
仔细看一看
那份 master list 一共有 380 行的字
...
其实还蛮佩服自己的
算一算
我总共用了超过 10 个小时
才把这份 master list 写出来
自己独处
独自想了 10 个小时
一直 update 一直改进
才写出来的 master list
还好
没有把整个 night 搞砸
很累很累
却很满足
今晚
真的有太多的人
我想要感谢
也有太多的人
我想要道歉
很感激那些帮了我的人
有时口头上没有说出来
不代表我心里不会感激
而道歉
也是一样。
曾经有那么一两分钟
那压迫感来的太重所以
我的口气也变重了
对不起
但其实
这整个晚上
我的 mood 都很不错的
其实不会太 stress
所以我有点不了解
为什么周遭的人一直安慰我
一直叫我冷静
其实
我真的觉得我还蛮 steady 的 = ="
觉得自己
就这样稳住稳住到闭幕
总觉得
今晚 Yeoh 和 Serene 应该会比我更累吧?
因为就一直看到 Yeoh 为我奔波
然后 Serene 一直被我摧到吐血
有点对不起的说
终于
结束了
应该开始
忙我的 blood donation 了
还有好多公司还没 call 过去呢。
=)
很累了
回想起两天前的这个时候
我正在拼了命地把 master list 逼出来
仔细看一看
那份 master list 一共有 380 行的字
...
其实还蛮佩服自己的
算一算
我总共用了超过 10 个小时
才把这份 master list 写出来
自己独处
独自想了 10 个小时
一直 update 一直改进
才写出来的 master list
还好
没有把整个 night 搞砸
很累很累
却很满足
今晚
真的有太多的人
我想要感谢
也有太多的人
我想要道歉
很感激那些帮了我的人
有时口头上没有说出来
不代表我心里不会感激
而道歉
也是一样。
曾经有那么一两分钟
那压迫感来的太重所以
我的口气也变重了
对不起
但其实
这整个晚上
我的 mood 都很不错的
其实不会太 stress
所以我有点不了解
为什么周遭的人一直安慰我
一直叫我冷静
其实
我真的觉得我还蛮 steady 的 = ="
觉得自己
就这样稳住稳住到闭幕
总觉得
今晚 Yeoh 和 Serene 应该会比我更累吧?
因为就一直看到 Yeoh 为我奔波
然后 Serene 一直被我摧到吐血
有点对不起的说
终于
结束了
应该开始
忙我的 blood donation 了
还有好多公司还没 call 过去呢。
=)
March 11, 2011
events.
已经很累了
却还不能休息
虽然这世界不会因为我的休息而停止转动
但我总该让这地球
转动得更顺畅一些
我很累
但我不应该休息
责任
一旦扛了上身
就不应该放下
即使你有天大的理由
还有 5 天的时间而已
要冲刺的
就剩这几天
却还不能休息
虽然这世界不会因为我的休息而停止转动
但我总该让这地球
转动得更顺畅一些
我很累
但我不应该休息
责任
一旦扛了上身
就不应该放下
即使你有天大的理由
还有 5 天的时间而已
要冲刺的
就剩这几天
March 08, 2011
free time.
已经连续酱多天
一直 emo 不停了
如果今晚不 emo 下的话
感觉上好像有点不对
也真的
每日一衰
一直持续进行着
除了上个星期的那几天
也好彩
除了今天
今天基本上
算是很开心的了 =D
难得很有空地跟朋友打打篮球
难得很有空地跑去 StarBookstore 看看杂志
虽然打球很喘
虽然杂志没有很好看
但
再怎么说
也好过要忙这个忙那个
再怎样
也好过那段喘不过气来的日子
如果接下来的日子
都能这么悠闲
该多好? =)
一直 emo 不停了
如果今晚不 emo 下的话
感觉上好像有点不对
也真的
每日一衰
一直持续进行着
除了上个星期的那几天
也好彩
除了今天
今天基本上
算是很开心的了 =D
难得很有空地跟朋友打打篮球
难得很有空地跑去 StarBookstore 看看杂志
虽然打球很喘
虽然杂志没有很好看
但
再怎么说
也好过要忙这个忙那个
再怎样
也好过那段喘不过气来的日子
如果接下来的日子
都能这么悠闲
该多好? =)
March 07, 2011
promise.
今天一早醒来
那个 mood 有点不对
感觉心里总是缺少些什么
匆匆走路去上课
却志不在读书
总是很心不在焉
正在上课的
只是我的身躯
总是很累
总是想睡
如果我总是这样
该怎办?
在发觉 CC7 没有邀请到 rumah charis 之后
那个 mood 更不对
...
原来承诺可以那么随便
一个很随便的理由
就可以摧毁一个
承诺
答应了再找他们来 CC
答应了再跟他玩个三天两夜
答应了再一次依依不舍地分离
可以一下子
什么都不是
无奈
越来越讨厌黑皮肤的人
尤其是跟我一起合作的
很自私
很没有脑
那个 mood 有点不对
感觉心里总是缺少些什么
匆匆走路去上课
却志不在读书
总是很心不在焉
正在上课的
只是我的身躯
总是很累
总是想睡
如果我总是这样
该怎办?
在发觉 CC7 没有邀请到 rumah charis 之后
那个 mood 更不对
...
原来承诺可以那么随便
一个很随便的理由
就可以摧毁一个
承诺
答应了再找他们来 CC
答应了再跟他玩个三天两夜
答应了再一次依依不舍地分离
可以一下子
什么都不是
无奈
越来越讨厌黑皮肤的人
尤其是跟我一起合作的
很自私
很没有脑
untrusted.
i hate the feeling,
when someone has something,
but he/she is not telling it to you.
in fact, i do not really want to know the "something",
i am not interested on the content,
i am not interested on the story,
i am not interested on the ending,
but i will keep it in mind,
that you are not telling this,
because i didn't get your trust.
you may have thousand of reason,
not to tell me.
it may be a very serious thing,
that you couldn't tell me.
nor matter you don't want to,
or you couldn't to,
nor matter i am really understanding,
or i am not understanding you at all,
my mind will still,
passing the message,
"i am untrusted."
...
even its a simple little thing.
when someone has something,
but he/she is not telling it to you.
in fact, i do not really want to know the "something",
i am not interested on the content,
i am not interested on the story,
i am not interested on the ending,
but i will keep it in mind,
that you are not telling this,
because i didn't get your trust.
you may have thousand of reason,
not to tell me.
it may be a very serious thing,
that you couldn't tell me.
nor matter you don't want to,
or you couldn't to,
nor matter i am really understanding,
or i am not understanding you at all,
my mind will still,
passing the message,
"i am untrusted."
...
even its a simple little thing.
March 04, 2011
February 26, 2011
February 25, 2011
12am.
事过境迁
心情的确平复了
但也不完全
每到夜深人静的时刻
每想起那些事
...
心里还是会揪一下
还是会纳闷
虽然白天时我还是会笑笑没烦恼
但
毕竟夜晚还是比较不一样
晚上没有晒死人的烈阳
晚上看不见人来人往
晚上没有人在努力上班
晚上 总是比较适合
思考 与 回忆
我的感性
都浮现在一个人的时刻
我的忧伤亦是
心情的确平复了
但也不完全
每到夜深人静的时刻
每想起那些事
...
心里还是会揪一下
还是会纳闷
虽然白天时我还是会笑笑没烦恼
但
毕竟夜晚还是比较不一样
晚上没有晒死人的烈阳
晚上看不见人来人往
晚上没有人在努力上班
晚上 总是比较适合
思考 与 回忆
我的感性
都浮现在一个人的时刻
我的忧伤亦是
February 22, 2011
growing, that i hate.
我始终接受不了
分离
这件事
那些曾经日日夜夜一起奋斗
一起玩乐
一起熬夜的朋友
转眼间
或许再也见不到...
很恐惧
很排斥
这种事
我真的接受不了
更怕的是
一旦见了面
却无言以对...
我还真的
看不开这局面。
分离
这件事
那些曾经日日夜夜一起奋斗
一起玩乐
一起熬夜的朋友
转眼间
或许再也见不到...
很恐惧
很排斥
这种事
我真的接受不了
更怕的是
一旦见了面
却无言以对...
我还真的
看不开这局面。
February 19, 2011
complicated. LEO and friendship.
最近真的发生了
很多 很多事
实体上的
心灵上的
看得见的
看不见的
每个人有各自的观点
每个人的观点
都不见得相似
而我聆听了
几种不同的看法
所以我所思考的
从不能只往一个观点出发
我总是很可怜地
夹在两个不同的观点里面
成了无辜的三文治
所以
做得好的话固然很好
但如果出了什么差错
就怕两方都会排斥我
所以有时候
我做这个也不是
做那个也不是
真的无能为力
对不起
如果我曾经伤害过你
我从来不曾想过想伤害谁
只是有时我真的拿捏不好
请你原谅我
经过了这些风风雨雨
我们的感情
不是变得更好
就只能是变得更烂
我觉得我也应该开始
以正面的心情
对待这些事了
everything will have a solution,
i should stand up again,
to be more mature and more,
and so i could handle all of these.
everything will be fine.
很多 很多事
实体上的
心灵上的
看得见的
看不见的
每个人有各自的观点
每个人的观点
都不见得相似
而我聆听了
几种不同的看法
所以我所思考的
从不能只往一个观点出发
我总是很可怜地
夹在两个不同的观点里面
成了无辜的三文治
所以
做得好的话固然很好
但如果出了什么差错
就怕两方都会排斥我
所以有时候
我做这个也不是
做那个也不是
真的无能为力
对不起
如果我曾经伤害过你
我从来不曾想过想伤害谁
只是有时我真的拿捏不好
请你原谅我
经过了这些风风雨雨
我们的感情
不是变得更好
就只能是变得更烂
我觉得我也应该开始
以正面的心情
对待这些事了
everything will have a solution,
i should stand up again,
to be more mature and more,
and so i could handle all of these.
smile.=)
because...everything will be fine.
February 16, 2011
something.
i would do anything for you,
i don't mind receiving nothing from you,
but if others get something from you but i didn't,
please do not talk to me in few weeks.
i don't mind receiving nothing from you,
but if others get something from you but i didn't,
please do not talk to me in few weeks.
February 08, 2011
don't forget.
当我在忙的时候
别人在干嘛?
我不知道
我只知道
有个人
一直陪着我
陪我忙碌
陪我熬夜
陪我战斗
谢谢你…
____
其实最关心你的
就是你 自己
别 只顾着爱别人
请记得疼爱你自己
别人在干嘛?
我不知道
我只知道
有个人
一直陪着我
陪我忙碌
陪我熬夜
陪我战斗
谢谢你…
____
其实最关心你的
就是你 自己
别 只顾着爱别人
请记得疼爱你自己
February 07, 2011
truth, hurts.
我很喜欢听实话
尽管我总是会伤心
总是会 emo
因为...
实话太伤人
但...
总好过
一直活在自己的幻想里
一直认为自己很了不起
到了一天
被迫认知事实的时候
才发觉自己...
接受不了事实
尽管我总是会伤心
总是会 emo
因为...
实话太伤人
但...
总好过
一直活在自己的幻想里
一直认为自己很了不起
到了一天
被迫认知事实的时候
才发觉自己...
接受不了事实
February 02, 2011
outings.
miss the moment,
where we went to so many place.
we went to look out point,
just to walk around,
take photo,
and we come down.
we went to cheras pasar malam,
shopping shopping,
makan makan,
and we gain weight.
we went to cyberjaya,
just to sit down and eat something in Old Town,
priscilia even vomited there,
and we drive back tired-ly.
we went to KLIA
sitting down in Starbucks,
everyone order a cup of beverage,
and we online for few hours there.
we went to genting,
i tried my first Space Shot with you all,
sleep like a prawn in the apartment,
and still remember, haosiang feed me in the KFC.
we went to committee training camp,
what a comfortable place it is!
enjoy the fresh air, fresh grass, and waterfall,
and we feed kay pau french fries on the way back.
we went to KLIA,
just to send kaypau off,
after those photo takings,
and we drive to bagan lalang till the late night.
we went to mid valley,
watching midnight movie,
"Alice and the Wonderland",
and the negative comments are flying here and there.
we have been to so many places,
do you remember?
they are awesome memories,
couldn't forget it, never.
thank you,
for bringing me to so many place,
to make my life in INTI an unforgettable one.
thank you,
to all of you,
created those happiness moment for me.
thank you,
seriously, thank you.
where we went to so many place.
we went to look out point,
just to walk around,
take photo,
and we come down.
we went to cheras pasar malam,
shopping shopping,
makan makan,
and we gain weight.
we went to cyberjaya,
just to sit down and eat something in Old Town,
priscilia even vomited there,
and we drive back tired-ly.
we went to KLIA
sitting down in Starbucks,
everyone order a cup of beverage,
and we online for few hours there.
we went to genting,
i tried my first Space Shot with you all,
sleep like a prawn in the apartment,
and still remember, haosiang feed me in the KFC.
we went to committee training camp,
what a comfortable place it is!
enjoy the fresh air, fresh grass, and waterfall,
and we feed kay pau french fries on the way back.
we went to KLIA,
just to send kaypau off,
after those photo takings,
and we drive to bagan lalang till the late night.
we went to mid valley,
watching midnight movie,
"Alice and the Wonderland",
and the negative comments are flying here and there.
we have been to so many places,
do you remember?
they are awesome memories,
couldn't forget it, never.
thank you,
for bringing me to so many place,
to make my life in INTI an unforgettable one.
thank you,
to all of you,
created those happiness moment for me.
thank you,
seriously, thank you.
nothing chaged.
很多人都是不变的
如果一个人变了
那也许 他以前隐藏得很好
也或许 他现在隐藏得很好
也许以前
你不了解他
也许以前
他没告诉你
也许以前
不想告诉你
也许以前
有太多的也许
所以你不了解他
而现在
你了解了
你看清了
你知道了
也或许现在
他没有告诉你
也或许现在
他不想告诉你
也或许现在
他不想理会你
也或许现在
有太多的或许了
所以你不了解他了
所以
他 变得
陌生了
如果一个人变了
那也许 他以前隐藏得很好
也或许 他现在隐藏得很好
也许以前
你不了解他
也许以前
他没告诉你
也许以前
不想告诉你
也许以前
有太多的也许
所以你不了解他
而现在
你了解了
你看清了
你知道了
也或许现在
他没有告诉你
也或许现在
他不想告诉你
也或许现在
他不想理会你
也或许现在
有太多的或许了
所以你不了解他了
所以
他 变得
陌生了
February 01, 2011
its me.
十二星座之中,摩羯老公是最具有传统丈夫形象的男性。他们重视尊卑和自己的形象,常常面无表情,行事一丝不苟,天生是个一家之主的架的架子,俨然是十九世纪留下来的骨董人物。
摩羯座的人,受到土星(守护星)的影响,天生情绪压抑,喜怒不形于色。即使他在外面交游广阔,那也是因为事业的业的需要,而不是他的本性。摩羯座是个孤独的星座,不擅于表达情绪的结果,使得身边的人都不太了解他们的心。而男性受到社会价值观的压抑,更不容易外泄漏心中的想法。
要了解摩羯老公的心,只能细心地观察,不论妳如何哄骗,软硬兼施,对他一概无效。摩羯座内敛的情绪,只有在他们漫不经心的动作中悄悄流露。愈是人多的地方,他和妳的距离愈遥远。他不会在大庭广众之下为妳夹菜,但是众目睽睽之中,妳会找到一对关爱的眼的眼神。
摩羯座的人,受到土星(守护星)的影响,天生情绪压抑,喜怒不形于色。即使他在外面交游广阔,那也是因为事业的业的需要,而不是他的本性。摩羯座是个孤独的星座,不擅于表达情绪的结果,使得身边的人都不太了解他们的心。而男性受到社会价值观的压抑,更不容易外泄漏心中的想法。
要了解摩羯老公的心,只能细心地观察,不论妳如何哄骗,软硬兼施,对他一概无效。摩羯座内敛的情绪,只有在他们漫不经心的动作中悄悄流露。愈是人多的地方,他和妳的距离愈遥远。他不会在大庭广众之下为妳夹菜,但是众目睽睽之中,妳会找到一对关爱的眼的眼神。
January 28, 2011
damn.
我的世界变天了
我所以为的都不以我以为的方式呈现
一个人
始终预测不了
一个人以外的变化
真的很想知道
那未来
会是耀眼的
还是暗淡的
有时心很灰
很无奈
很纳闷
为何
自己很失败
有时
无论周遭有多少称赞与赞美
你都会觉得 一切都是为了哄你开心
而昧着良心 说出口的
烂东西
信心
不会一直存在的
它总是会有
消失的时候
我所以为的都不以我以为的方式呈现
一个人
始终预测不了
一个人以外的变化
真的很想知道
那未来
会是耀眼的
还是暗淡的
有时心很灰
很无奈
很纳闷
为何
自己很失败
有时
无论周遭有多少称赞与赞美
你都会觉得 一切都是为了哄你开心
而昧着良心 说出口的
烂东西
信心
不会一直存在的
它总是会有
消失的时候
January 26, 2011
talk shit.
tired of so many things,
even tired with myself,
i talked a lot,
can explain really well,
but what's the use of saying all those things,
without an action?
i am tired of talk.
i don't want to talk nor explain anymore.
i don't want to act like someone special, anymore.
even tired with myself,
i talked a lot,
can explain really well,
but what's the use of saying all those things,
without an action?
i am tired of talk.
i don't want to talk nor explain anymore.
i don't want to act like someone special, anymore.
January 22, 2011
thoughts.
i look into the "everything is fine. =)",
although everything isn't fine, now.
i do understand,
when 2 people have extremely different thoughts,
this is the hardest thing for both people,
because there is nothing else we can do.
even worse when the 2 different thoughts completely cannot being combine,
its a YES or it will be a NO.
all the things are very clear,
you think it is,
but i think its not.
i doesn't mean to ask you make way for me everytime,
i could always let your thought goes first,
just that...
your thought is a kind of hurt, to me.
although everything isn't fine, now.
i do understand,
when 2 people have extremely different thoughts,
this is the hardest thing for both people,
because there is nothing else we can do.
even worse when the 2 different thoughts completely cannot being combine,
its a YES or it will be a NO.
all the things are very clear,
you think it is,
but i think its not.
i doesn't mean to ask you make way for me everytime,
i could always let your thought goes first,
just that...
your thought is a kind of hurt, to me.
trust.
a trust,
is very...important...to me.
it is beyond...important.
nor matter what happen,
as long as i got your trust,
i will just be fine.
nor matter what kind of friend you are,
as long as i got your trust,
i will still treat you as a friend,
unless you did something which i don't expect my friend can do.
nor matter in what situation,
what kind of shit environment,
or what kind of great environtment,
if you don't trust me,
a wall will built up,
between us.
i really dislike of,
being untrusted.
maybe you think its a small case,
maybe you think its better for me,
maybe you think of whatever reason,
which cause you don't trust me,
...
...
then, i will classified you.
is very...important...to me.
it is beyond...important.
nor matter what happen,
as long as i got your trust,
i will just be fine.
nor matter what kind of friend you are,
as long as i got your trust,
i will still treat you as a friend,
unless you did something which i don't expect my friend can do.
nor matter in what situation,
what kind of shit environment,
or what kind of great environtment,
if you don't trust me,
a wall will built up,
between us.
i really dislike of,
being untrusted.
maybe you think its a small case,
maybe you think its better for me,
maybe you think of whatever reason,
which cause you don't trust me,
...
...
then, i will classified you.
January 21, 2011
wait.
等待 与 陪伴
是一种礼貌
至少,
对我来说 它是礼貌的一种
我每次都很在意
朋友是否会等我
陪我一起走
如果说我们的目的地是一样的
但你却先行离开
然后
我就好像被忽略似的
一个人..走...
如果说我们刚上完了课
我正在收拾书包
而朋友却先走了
然后
我就好像被忽略似的
一个人..走...
如果说我要上厕所
而朋友说会在某某目的地等着我
那...好像没什么意义
然后
我就好像被忽略似的
一个人..走...
如果说......
其实...
很多时候
都是如此
也许是我习惯了
跟中学朋友如此的等待陪伴
怎么也觉得
这是种 礼貌
我只是觉得
反正等一下也没差
那...你先行离开的目的是什么?
何不 一起走
这样子 比较像是
朋友吧!
是一种礼貌
至少,
对我来说 它是礼貌的一种
我每次都很在意
朋友是否会等我
陪我一起走
如果说我们的目的地是一样的
但你却先行离开
然后
我就好像被忽略似的
一个人..走...
如果说我们刚上完了课
我正在收拾书包
而朋友却先走了
然后
我就好像被忽略似的
一个人..走...
如果说我要上厕所
而朋友说会在某某目的地等着我
那...好像没什么意义
然后
我就好像被忽略似的
一个人..走...
如果说......
其实...
很多时候
都是如此
也许是我习惯了
跟中学朋友如此的等待陪伴
怎么也觉得
这是种 礼貌
我只是觉得
反正等一下也没差
那...你先行离开的目的是什么?
何不 一起走
这样子 比较像是
朋友吧!
January 20, 2011
blogging.
我写 blog 的目的
并不是为了曝露我的隐私
只是
想跟我的朋友分享
一些我看到的
一些我感受到的
一些或许他们不知道的
一些或许他们没发现的
很多 很多事
真正的隐私
我不会就这样
任由你解剖我
并不是为了曝露我的隐私
只是
想跟我的朋友分享
一些我看到的
一些我感受到的
一些或许他们不知道的
一些或许他们没发现的
很多 很多事
真正的隐私
我不会就这样
任由你解剖我
January 16, 2011
branded life.
心里不平衡
我知道
是虚荣心作祟
很想很想买很多 衣饰 鞋子
很想很想喝很多 Starbucks
很想很想去很多 不同的国家
但
想回我小时候对妈妈说过的一句话:
"衣服能穿就好了啊!
又不一定要买名牌的!"
......
认真想想
如果我穿着所谓的"名牌"
在朋友面前走来走去,
是为了什么?
面子吗?
show 下自己有钱吗?
还是 show 下自己买衣服的眼光?
...
好像
都不是我要的结果.
我承认
我开始 被"名牌" 冲昏了头
所以
不能跟着生活一直走
有时
该停下来思考一下
这样
走下去的终点是什么
是否
跟你所预想的一样?
我知道
是虚荣心作祟
很想很想买很多 衣饰 鞋子
很想很想喝很多 Starbucks
很想很想去很多 不同的国家
但
想回我小时候对妈妈说过的一句话:
"衣服能穿就好了啊!
又不一定要买名牌的!"
......
认真想想
如果我穿着所谓的"名牌"
在朋友面前走来走去,
是为了什么?
面子吗?
show 下自己有钱吗?
还是 show 下自己买衣服的眼光?
...
好像
都不是我要的结果.
我承认
我开始 被"名牌" 冲昏了头
所以
不能跟着生活一直走
有时
该停下来思考一下
这样
走下去的终点是什么
是否
跟你所预想的一样?
January 14, 2011
January 13, 2011
clubs.
this is not the life i want,
definitely...not.
when i was a secondary student,
i dream of college's club,
dream to join those clubs that i like,
have fun with the friends who have same interest.
...
...
...
but...
i ain't feeling happy, for now.
i dream of a club's life,
but now i am having a VERY BUSY club's life.
seriously, i hate the feeling,
working for clubs...once i am free.
hate being busy since 6pm daily until midnight,
hate to participate in too many meetings,
hate to think all the things myself when my teammate is not helping.
but...
i am still here.
i knew the feeling isn't right,
i knew what is happening,
i knew how to solve it,
but...
i am still here.
i couldn't throw my responsible away,
这就是我的原则!
而我 就是死在自己的原则上.
...
...
...
ok, back to my works again.
definitely...not.
when i was a secondary student,
i dream of college's club,
dream to join those clubs that i like,
have fun with the friends who have same interest.
...
...
...
but...
i ain't feeling happy, for now.
i dream of a club's life,
but now i am having a VERY BUSY club's life.
seriously, i hate the feeling,
working for clubs...once i am free.
hate being busy since 6pm daily until midnight,
hate to participate in too many meetings,
hate to think all the things myself when my teammate is not helping.
but...
i am still here.
i knew the feeling isn't right,
i knew what is happening,
i knew how to solve it,
but...
i am still here.
i couldn't throw my responsible away,
这就是我的原则!
而我 就是死在自己的原则上.
...
...
...
ok, back to my works again.
January 10, 2011
it ends, it begins.
每个结束,
代表着另一个开始.
结束了新的一年
结束了假期的心情
结束了我一些些梦想
结束了我很不愿意结束的束缚
也终于结束了一些我不愿意纠缠的烂事情
但,
人
不可能会因为这些结束而变得
越来越空闲.
所以,
我
还有很多的事还没完成
还有好多梦想还没实现
还有好多好多的 未来...
其实,
我有...
很多 很多 的 idea
很多 很多 我想做的
却没时间 没空 去完成的
事
我没说出口
并不表示 我头脑都是空白的.
代表着另一个开始.
结束了新的一年
结束了假期的心情
结束了我一些些梦想
结束了我很不愿意结束的束缚
也终于结束了一些我不愿意纠缠的烂事情
但,
人
不可能会因为这些结束而变得
越来越空闲.
所以,
我
还有很多的事还没完成
还有好多梦想还没实现
还有好多好多的 未来...
其实,
我有...
很多 很多 的 idea
很多 很多 我想做的
却没时间 没空 去完成的
事
我没说出口
并不表示 我头脑都是空白的.
January 09, 2011
someday in my life.
its not bad today.
because i previously thought the day will be a very short,
yet nothing to do other than visitation to those homes,
but..
that's too many surprise happens in your life. =)
it turns into a great day.
with an extra lunch, mid valley, dinner,
driving here and there. =)
everyday could be a happy day,
as long as you choose the correct person to be with. =)
because i previously thought the day will be a very short,
yet nothing to do other than visitation to those homes,
but..
that's too many surprise happens in your life. =)
it turns into a great day.
with an extra lunch, mid valley, dinner,
driving here and there. =)
everyday could be a happy day,
as long as you choose the correct person to be with. =)
January 07, 2011
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