damn.

我的世界变天了
我所以为的都不以我以为的方式呈现
一个人
始终预测不了
一个人以外的变化
真的很想知道
那未来
会是耀眼的
还是暗淡的

有时心很灰
很无奈
很纳闷
为何
自己很失败

有时
无论周遭有多少称赞与赞美
你都会觉得 一切都是为了哄你开心
而昧着良心 说出口的
烂东西

信心
不会一直存在的
它总是会有
消失的时候

talk shit.

tired of so many things,
even tired with myself,
i talked a lot,
can explain really well,
but what's the use of saying all those things,
without an action?
i am tired of talk.
i don't want to talk nor explain anymore.
i don't want to act like someone special, anymore.

thoughts.

i look into the "everything is fine. =)",
although everything isn't fine, now.
i do understand,
when 2 people have extremely different thoughts,
this is the hardest thing for both people,
because there is nothing else we can do.

even worse when the 2 different thoughts completely cannot being combine,
its a YES or it will be a NO.
all the things are very clear,
you think it is,
but i think its not.

i doesn't mean to ask you make way for me everytime,
i could always let your thought goes first,
just that...
your thought is a kind of hurt, to me.

trust.

a trust,
is very...important...to me.
it is beyond...important.

nor matter what happen,
as long as i got your trust,
i will just be fine.

nor matter what kind of friend you are,
as long as i got your trust,
i will still treat you as a friend,
unless you did something which i don't expect my friend can do.

nor matter in what situation,
what kind of shit environment,
or what kind of great environtment,
if you don't trust me,
a wall will built up,
between us.

i really dislike of,
being untrusted.
maybe you think its a small case,
maybe you think its better for me,
maybe you think of whatever reason,
which cause you don't trust me,
...
...
then, i will classified you.

wait.

等待 与 陪伴
是一种礼貌
至少,
对我来说 它是礼貌的一种

我每次都很在意
朋友是否会等我
陪我一起走

如果说我们的目的地是一样的
但你却先行离开
然后
我就好像被忽略似的
一个人..走...

如果说我们刚上完了课
我正在收拾书包
而朋友却先走了
然后
我就好像被忽略似的
一个人..走...

如果说我要上厕所
而朋友说会在某某目的地等着我
那...好像没什么意义
然后
我就好像被忽略似的
一个人..走...

如果说......
其实...
很多时候
都是如此

也许是我习惯了
跟中学朋友如此的等待陪伴
怎么也觉得
这是种 礼貌

我只是觉得
反正等一下也没差
那...你先行离开的目的是什么?
何不 一起走
这样子 比较像是
朋友吧!

blogging.

我写 blog 的目的
并不是为了曝露我的隐私
只是
想跟我的朋友分享
一些我看到的
一些我感受到的
一些或许他们不知道的
一些或许他们没发现的
很多 很多事

真正的隐私
我不会就这样
任由你解剖我

branded life.

心里不平衡
我知道
是虚荣心作祟

很想很想买很多 衣饰 鞋子
很想很想喝很多 Starbucks
很想很想去很多 不同的国家

但
想回我小时候对妈妈说过的一句话：
＂衣服能穿就好了啊！
    又不一定要买名牌的！＂

......
认真想想
如果我穿着所谓的"名牌"
在朋友面前走来走去，
是为了什么？
面子吗？
show 下自己有钱吗？
还是 show 下自己买衣服的眼光？
...
好像
都不是我要的结果.

我承认
我开始 被"名牌" 冲昏了头

所以
不能跟着生活一直走
有时
该停下来思考一下
这样
走下去的终点是什么
是否
跟你所预想的一样?

mood. diary.

写过那么多的心情日记
其实并不是想博得
任何一个人的同情
或
安慰

我只是...
想抒发
我当下的 情绪
罢了.

clubs.

this is not the life i want,
definitely...not.

when i was a secondary student,
i dream of college's club,
dream to join those clubs that i like,
have fun with the friends who have same interest.
...
...
...
but...
i ain't feeling happy, for now.

i dream of a club's life,
but now i am having a VERY BUSY club's life.
seriously, i hate the feeling,
working for clubs...once i am free.

hate being busy since 6pm daily until midnight,
hate to participate in too many meetings,
hate to think all the things myself when my teammate is not helping.
but...
i am still here.

i knew the feeling isn't right,
i knew what is happening,
i knew how to solve it,
but...
i am still here.

i couldn't throw my responsible away,
这就是我的原则!
而我 就是死在自己的原则上.

...
...
...

ok, back to my works again.

it ends, it begins.

每个结束,
代表着另一个开始.

结束了新的一年
结束了假期的心情
结束了我一些些梦想
结束了我很不愿意结束的束缚
也终于结束了一些我不愿意纠缠的烂事情

但,
人
不可能会因为这些结束而变得
越来越空闲.

所以,
我
还有很多的事还没完成
还有好多梦想还没实现
还有好多好多的 未来...

其实,
我有...
很多 很多 的 idea
很多 很多 我想做的
却没时间 没空 去完成的
事

我没说出口
并不表示 我头脑都是空白的.

someday in my life.

its not bad today.
because i previously thought the day will be a very short,
yet nothing to do other than visitation to those homes,

but..
that's too many surprise happens in your life. =)
it turns into a great day.
with an extra lunch, mid valley, dinner,
driving here and there. =)

everyday could be a happy day,
as long as you choose the correct person to be with. =)

face.lie.you.

现代的人 很记仇
所以
每当我见到你
我都在模拟你的内心
是如何地讨厌我

我很清楚
那些 "没关系"
都是无谓的谎言
为了不显示自己肚量小的
谎言