deepest despair.

每天都要回到最深的绝望当中
我何时才能自由？

truth.

现实总与理想有落差
而且
是很大的落差
做善事的背后
也有私自挥霍的阴暗面

每次讲的一定比做的好听
答应了会捐多少
答应了会做什么
而事后根本就不会去 care
没捐出的就自己拿来用
自己拿来享受

committee 那么努力找来的 sponsor
到底受益了小孩
受益了 event
还是受益了自己?

suddenly.

突然空出一段时间
没人聊天
没有出去
没有喝茶
facebook 没有更新
没有功课
不想打机
不想阅读
来不及看电影

突然之间
不再处于忙碌的生活中
不知道该干些什么...才好

home.

no matter how much happiness i have,
as long as i back to home,
or receive call from home,
usually all of the happiness will turn sadness.

great moment in home is a kind of luxury,
to me.

i will never happy until the day i left.

i do not wish to,
but i was not given other choices.

deep in the valley.

人生中最低潮最没用的时候
就在公司作工的半年里
根本就毫无目标的做书记
整个人窝囊到没有得再糟糕
从早到晚被批评
有做没有做都是错
要换工就是不孝
做不好就是没有用
不会做就是没有心
同时面对争吵
还要看着公司随时倒
又不允许离开

这半年的日子真的是梦魇
任何一刻的回忆
都能让我悲伤一整晚

the age has gone.

suddenly,
realize that i am not student anymore.

no more college life,
no more relaxing life,
no more friends to organize event together,
no more fighting for assignment,
neither exam.

more to come,
pressure of work,
living outside of KL,
thinking mature.

it's time, to grow.

now.

在我的世界里...


我所看到的阳光
不是阳光

我所看到的光明
并不光明

我所看到的正义
暗藏险恶

我所看到的希望
丝毫不存

reborn.

the way to reborn, is death.

lone.

一个人的约会 一个人的旅途 一个人的拿铁 一个人的演唱会门票 一个人的战艇 一个人的... 若你问我为什么如此寂寞， 那你其实不懂寂寞。

part of life.

这样的生活，
怎么过也不快乐。

plan.

每次計劃時都很完美
而討論之後
大家都不約而同地把一切忘了

reality.

突然察觉
失去的热情不再泉涌
很多事
很难再回到从前
虽然你我都还在

几乎没有谁
能不屈服在现实之下

渐渐步入社会了
就也许没那么活跃了

sorrow moment.

当你回到童年的游乐场，
却只看见破铜废铁。
你感伤吗？
我刚去了趟 Carrefour，
才发觉沧海桑田。

昔日爱待留的店，
倒的倒，
搬的搬，
顺手，把我的回忆也带走。

as usual.

这样的生活太可悲

每个人都有别人不了解的懊恼

rubbish and shit.

生活跟整團大便一樣
蝦米垃圾麻煩事情夾在一塊

responsible.

tmd, i hate my life.

winner is not the winner

怕事的人
因为怕事
而避开了一些争执、殴打
虽然听起来比较懦弱
但他们剩下了许多麻烦

勇敢的人
不一定就是赢家

few friends of mine.

i have a friend,
who just updated his status,
mentioning how he make a wise and solid decision to travel among europe countries,
by using up all the credit in his bank.
like showing of how chic he is,
who traveled these countries when he's 21.

i have another friend,
who keep post status talk about her part time moment,
while she's still studying as a university student.
always work in different environment with different jobs,
and i could imagine of her environmental-forced hardship and her spirit.

i have a friend,
always failed his exams,
yet not putting any efforts in making it better.
bought gift, iphone, and presents for his girlfriend.

i have another friend,
who do not actually offered chance to study in university,
he was sponsored by his relatives,
studying hard to not letting anyone disappointed.

we have lots of friend, aren't we?